Compassion Activates Healing Within and Without.
When we think of the greatest healer who ever lived, what was his prime virtue when it came to healing? Compassion.
And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick. Matthew 14:14
Definition of Compassion
Compassion means literally “to suffer with.” It encompasses a sequence of thoughts and feelings towards another person in need of healing, starting with:
- Awareness, which sparks the desire for:
- Understanding of the situation, followed by:
- Sympathy, which brings a feeling of pity and the opportunity to establish a direct emotional connection with the suffering person through:
- Empathy, the vital connection which brings on a deep feeling of another’s suffering as if it were your own, resulting in:
- Mercy for the one suffering, free from judgment, culminating in:
- Pure Love as the ultimate motivator to take the right action at the right moment to initiate that person’s healing.
Too few people, unfortunately, treat themselves with compassion, let alone others. Could this possibly explain why so many people these days fail to enjoy good mental and physical well-being?
Most people can handle steps 1-3 above without much difficulty, especially if it’s someone they already care about. So they can do much good in helping to ease the physical and mental suffering of others. Unfortunately, they frequently find themselves unable to get directly involved in healing the CAUSE of that suffering. Why is that? Why is it so hard for so many people to develop compassion to the degree necessary to activate true healing within themselves and others?
Without Empathy, Compassion Grinds to a Halt.
Empathy comes just as naturally to some people as perfect pitch comes to some musicians. They are what we call “empaths.” Empaths are exceptionally sensitive to the emotions and frame of mind of nearby individuals. But anyone can develop significant empathy skills if they choose to. Here are six tips to help you become more empathetic:
1. Communicate Regularly IN PERSON
If you do not communicate in person with others regularly, it is not easy to develop empathy. You cannot learn more about the needs of others and understand what they are really feeling if you remain alone at home or do most of your communicating online. To increase your compassion, you need to be around others more and chat with them, ideally in a face-to-face setting so that you can observe their expressions and body language.
2. OBSERVE Other People
When you spend time with others, use the opportunity to observe them subtly, without staring rudely. Watch people’s facial expressions and body language. Listen to the tone and timbre of people’s voices. Notice the words they stress when they speak. What can you tell about another person’s true feelings when you notice such things? Ninety percent of communication is non-verbal. Thus, observing non-verbal communication between people will give you a clearer idea of what a person genuinely feels. When you know a person’s true feelings, you will be in a better position to assist them.
3. LISTEN Actively and Sincerely
If you want to develop better empathy, change the way you listen to other people. Instead of pretending to hear what others say or paying attention just for the opportunity to interject with tales of your own experiences or opinions, listen actively. Actively listening involves using all of your senses to hear what someone expresses both verbally and non-verbally before giving the person doing the talking some observations and reactions to help them.
4. Drop The Judgement and Put Yourself In Their Shoes
Everybody judges sometimes. It is part of the human condition. Yet it is hard to show compassion towards people if you perpetually judge them negatively. If you try to make fewer inferences about people and understand them more, you will feel more sincerely connected with them. Instead of judging, try to treat the people around you with unconditional positive regard. Unconditional positive regard is accepting others regardless of their words or actions, like putting yourself in their shoes and wearing them for a while. If you show unconditional positive regard, others will trust you and open up to you more.
5. Be AUTHENTIC
Yes, this can be scary! Being authentic can make you feel vulnerable. But you need to share your real thoughts and feelings with people if you want them to do the same for you. Furthermore, when you are authentic, bonds grow, and genuine friendships blossom. Therefore, it is well worth showing the more sensitive side of yourself to people, even if it feels like it involves some personal risk.
6. Be Ready and Willing to ACT in Their Behalf
The spirit of the word compassion is synonymous with DOING. When people open up to you and reveal their problems, take it seriously! Imagine what they are going through from their perspective rather than yours. If the situation calls for offering constructive advice and feedback, then do so. But if more than talk is needed to solve their problem, then DO what needs to be done to help them without delay.
Mercy and Love Bring Power to Heal
When through empathy we reach the point of having mercy and pure love for a suffering individual, we then have at our disposal a power that goes way beyond what constitutes “normal” caring. We find ourselves being guided beyond the symptoms of the problem to the CAUSE of the problem, and to the right course of action to initiate true healing.
In Conclusion
Helping others in meaningful ways can be healing for you as well as for others. It can provide a sense of purpose, distract you from overthinking, and improve your mental health. In other words, helping others is often a great way to help yourself, provided you do not spread yourself too thin. So why not do what you can to develop your empathy skills and become more compassionate so that people trust you and allow you to help them not only in a caring way, but in a healing way, following the example of the Master Healer Himself, even Jesus Christ?
With Love to All,
Sharon Iezzi
Oklahoma Academy Country Store
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